If I’ve told myself once, I’ve told myself a million times: don’t snoop. Don’t do it. Nothing good can come from it blah blah blah. This is what I tell myself. And it works, ya know, sometimes. But damn, it’s tempting. Here’s the thing: whether it’s checking your partner’s email or voicemail or text messages (or real postal mail, if that still exists), you’re doing yourself a huge disservice.
Why, you ask? I mean, it does seem somewhat logical: you think your sweetie is keeping something from you, or lying about getting down and dirty with his ex, so you put on your super sleuth hat to go find out what’s what. Or maybe you don’t really think he or she is up to anything terrible, but the option is there and curiosity has you tightly in its evil little grasp. We all get weak.
The problem is this: let’s say you find out something incriminating in your snoop-capades. What can you really do with that information? If it’s bad enough to where you know you’re going to dump his/her sorry ass anyway, then I suppose you don’t really care that they’ll be angry about the breach of privacy.
But I think more often than not, when we find out something that we want to confront our significant other about, the idea is to get it out in the open, work it out together and move forward. If you come to them with this illegally-obtained information, you are immediately put in the defensive position because obviously, the first thing they will do is turn your anger right around on you and get upset that you were a sneaky snoop. And that’s pretty valid. It’s truly a no-win situation.
So what to do instead? Ah, that’s a very old question and one that still doesn’t have a great answer. The only thing I can say is if you’ve tried some straight talk with your honey and still can’t believe that what they’re saying is the truest truth, then the real issue isn’t how you’re going to find out what you need to know, it’s why you’re staying in a relationship where communication and trust are clearly big problems.
Bottom line: if you think you have to resort to invading your loved one’s privacy to get information that they should be telling you themselves, you might want to reevaluate the health of your partnership.
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